The Wisdom and Freedom of Courtship vs. Dating

THE WISDOM AND FREEDOM OF COURTSHIP VS. DATING
By Bill Gothard

Definition of Dating:Singling out one person of the opposite gender and cultivating interest through thoughts, looks, notes, talks, or events.

Definition of Courtship: Two fathers agreeing to work with a qualified young man to win the daughter for marriage.

Why Dating Causes Conflicts:

• The motive is wrong—getting vs. giving
  
• The goal is wrong—pleasure vs. commitment
• The idea is wrong—human nature vs. limitations
• The results are wrong—hurts vs. edification
  

The Rewards of Courtship:

• Gives new freedom in friendships
• Avoids envy and jealousy
• Promotes self-control and moral purity
• Eliminates defrauding and bitterness
• Allows dedication to please the Lord (dating violates 1 Cor. 7:31-34)
  
• Bases marriage on God’s will
• Honors father’s authority

Requirements of Courtship:

A life purpose bigger than marriage

A “one-man, one-woman” commitment

A restraint of affection

A loyalty to parents

An ability to deal with infatuations

A readiness for marriage responsibilities